More than One Test

Goodness it has been an emotional whirlwind of a last few days. ACLS. Anyone taken it before?
I knew it was coming up. I tried to get a book, but there weren't any. They did have a pamphlet of some papers that included a pre-test and pages and pages of drugs. No books though. Would the books have helped? I am not sure, but still....
The first day was class. Lots and lots of info was discussed. There were some test out sections - testing out on the AED, testing out on CPR, demonstrations on entubation, and lots more. There were discussions about the mega-codes. make sure you say "resume CPR" or we can fail you. Make sure you participate, make sure you say "IV route" with the drugs or we can fail you. Okay, to be honest, did they say it that many times? I am not sure but I do know each time was stuck in my brain - Fail, fail, fail, fail, remember, remember, remember, or fail, fail, fail, fail. By the time I left, I was on serious overload and feeling severely overwhelmed. Talk about feeling like giving up, I was there!!!
I came home, grabbed a bite to eat, played with Miss Cleo and tried to study. It did not work. I looked at the clock and decided I did not care at that point, I wanted sleep. My day had begun in the wee am hours around 3am and it was 7pm then. Sleep came, but it was not restful - it was nightmarish thoughts that invaded my dreams. I woke 2 1/2 hours later, not as sleep deprived, still tired, but more able to concentrate. I grabbed my pencil, my notebook, and the papers. I did the pre-test first and did not do bad, but did not do good either. So I grabbed the pencil and paper and wrote out over and over the steps of each logarithm. A few hours later, I was feeling better and sleepy so went back to bed. I slept 2-3 more hours and then got back up a little before 5am. I made a pot of coffee, grabbed a cup when it was done, grabbed the papers and started studying again.
I was beginning to feel it was not worth going in to take the class and if I could not do this, then what was the use of trying to go back for my BSN!!!! Maybe I was just too old. Maybe I couldn't comprehend anymore. Maybe I didn't have what it took to do this. Maybe I should just give up!
I was ready to. I was ready to not go to class. I was ready to just stay home.
I prayed and as a last ditch effort put out a plea for prayer via email to some friends on the internet. I was praying they would see this and intercede for me. I left quoting the words from the scripture - "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS WHO STRENGTHENED ME!!' I went to class!
God provided peace to my body. He provided peace to my mind. When it came time for the mega-codes I was calm, I was peaceful, I could recall the info I had studied. When it came time for the test, I was very calm, I could recall the info, and I was sure of the answers. I passed ACLS.
What this means:
I could have given up and that may have lead to me giving up on the school.
However, it is just another proof that I am on the right track. I can do all things if I continue to rely on the one who can provide calmness during the storms of life. The one who provides peace when all is chaos inside of me. The one who provides strength when mine is totally gone. The one who knows that even though I would chose for this to be handled differently, his way is the best.

As a side note - when I checked emails this morning, I received one with a beautiful prayer written out. It was timed at 10:04am and my first mega-code started at 10:10am. The other emails I received in answer to people praying were timed from when I sent the email and continued throughout the morning. I am so thankful for all the prayers. I am so thankful for the technology that allows us to reach out to people all over the world via the internet and form a prayer chain that grows stronger and stronger with each prayer that joins the chain. It still amazes me how God can use everyone and everything.